Know Your Poisons: Vodka

Quite simply, vodka is a distilled beverage composed primarily of water and ethanol.  The name "vodka" is a diminutive form of the Slavic word voda (water), interpreted as “little water.”  This isn’t an uncommon theme, as the word “whisky” is derived from the Gaelic “uisge beatha” or water of life.

Vodka may be distilled from any starch- or sugar-rich plant matter; most vodka today is produced from grains such as sorghum, corn, rye or wheat. Among grain vodkas, rye and wheat vodkas are generally considered superior. Some vodkas are made from potatoes, molasses, soybeans, grapes, rice, sugar beets and sometimes even byproducts of oil refining or wood pulp processing. That sounds appealing, no?

 In some Central European countries, such as Poland, vodka is sometimes even produced by just fermenting a solution of crystal sugar and yeast. In the European Union there are talks about the standardization of vodka, and the Vodka Belt countries insist that only spirits produced from grains, potato and sugar beet molasses be allowed to be branded as "vodka", following the traditional methods of production.

In the United States, many vodkas are surprisingly made from 95% ethanol produced in large quantities by agricultural-industrial giants Archer Daniels Midland and Midwest Grain Processors. Bottlers purchase the base spirits in bulk, then filter, dilute, distribute and market the end product under a variety of vodka brand names. Think about that a minute. The stuff you’re paying top-dollar for because some rapper held up a bottle of it in a video might have started off as the same stuff they make that crappy gasoline from that’s 30 cents a gallon cheaper but destroys your engine over time. Buyer beware.

I like how the 85% ethanol is at a minimum 70% ethanol. WTF?

Vodka is the chameleon of spirits and blends seamlessly with just about anything. This is no accident, friends. While there are no universal rules for producing the spirit, the final product is supposed to be colorless, odorless and tasteless. With that said, vodka isn’t completely neutral, and a number of distillers actually leave in a good amount of flavor. (The best way to taste these subtle differences is to drink vodka neat at room temperature.) Unlike Scotches and cognacs, which are made in pot stills, vodka is usually produced in a high-volume, continuous column still. After distillation, the spirit is filtered to remove any remaining impurities and congeners. Coal is a traditional filter, but brands today use a range of materials, even including diamonds. Vodka isn’t aged and can be bottled and sold immediately after production. What’s also helping to drive sales in America is the wide range of flavored vodkas now on the market, because God knows we Yanks can’t drink anything without added flavors and sugars in it.

A common property of the vodkas produced in the United States and Europe is the extensive use of filtration prior to any additional processing like the addition of flavorants. Filtering is sometimes done in the still during distillation, as well as afterwards where the distillate is filtered through activated charcoal and other media to absorb trace amounts of congeners that alter or impart off-flavors to the vodka. However, this is not the case in the traditional vodka-producing nations, so many distillers from these countries prefer to use very accurate distillation but minimal filtering, thus preserving the unique flavors and characteristics of their products.

The master distiller is in charge of production and directing the filtration, which includes the removal of the "fore-shots", "heads" and "tails". These components of the distillate contain flavor compounds such as ethyl acetate and ethyl lactate (heads) as well as the fusel oils (tails) that impact the usually desired clean taste of vodka. Through numerous rounds of distillation, or the use of a fractioning still, the taste is modified and clarity is increased. In contrast, distillery process for liquors such as whiskies and rum allow portions of the "heads" and "tails" to remain, giving them their unique flavors.

Repeated distillation of vodka will make its ethanol level much higher than is acceptable to most end users, whether legislation determines strength limits or not. Depending on the distillation method and the technique of the stillmaster, the final filtered and distilled vodka may have as much as 95–96% ethanol. (Hey, kinda like that stuff I mentioned above.) As such, most vodka is diluted with water prior to bottling.

So yeah, like with any liquors, some of it is lesser-grade and some is considered ultra-premium. If you can get it for ten bucks for a 750ml plastic bottle, it probably isn’t really ready to be drunk neat and is better off as a mixer ingredient. However, I hasten to add that mid-range reasonably-priced vodkas are readily available and those over-the top super-premiums distilled half a dozen times and filtered through diamonds are just a way to part you from your money as you attempt vainly to look like a high-roller at the club.

Whattaya’ mean, Wingman? The more times it’s done, the better, right? I mean, it’s purer and they used diamonds, bro…

Seriously, guys, read between the lines.

The more you distill it the purer it gets. At a certain point is it 95% ethanol….just like the ethanol made in the giant factories and turned into the crap ruining your car engines at 85%. Either way, they have to water it down to make drinkable vodka. And really? Wasting diamonds on filtering alcohol? That’s the vodka equivalent of a tequila worm or a scorpion in the bottle. A marketing gimmick. Diamonds are better served as part of a saw blade or in jewelry. And you know what a diamond started off as? A hunk of coal. Squeezed by tectonic plates for a few million years, it becomes a diamond. Stick to the stuff filtered through charcoal.

If you drink something because a dude who wears sunglasses indoors says so, stop reading and kill yourself now

 

However, if you’re truly one of those concerned about status symbols and looking like a baller (But why the hell are you even reading my advice site if you’re like that?) there’s stuff like Kors Vodka. I’m paraphrasing this from their website because their sentence structure & syntax leads me to believe it wasn’t originally written in English:  “A top-guarded recipe (from a Czar and his brother) that was once considered lost, water from the Italian Alps, diamond-filtered distillation, hand selected grains from 12 countries, and gold distillation tubes make Kors like nothing you have ever tasted. No wonder it is one of the most sought after Vodka drinks on the Planet.”

 Kors is quite simply the most expensive vodka on the market. Pundits say the taste is superb and like nothing you’ve ever tried before (something tells me it tastes like vodka) but it’s the shape of the crystal bottle that makes people turn their heads when you have it on the table. And after all, that’s why you spend half a year’s salary on a bottle of booze; to be looked at like you’re special. 

Half a year’s salary, Wingman?

Well, the Silver Edition, of which only 1250 bottles were made, runs you $12,500. The Gold Edition of 750 bottles goes for $16,500 a bottle. And if you’re really so rich you can wipe your ass with hundreds, the 24K George V Limited Edition of just 250 bottles runs you a mere $24,500 a bottle. Digest THAT morsel a minute...For something that will be urine a couple hours after it passes your lips. 

Less expensive and only slightly less pretentious is elit, the super high-end from Stolichnaya. Ordinarily, Stoli is a reasonably-priced and quality vodka, but this is catering to that Hey Look At Me crowd. The newest elit offering is the Himalayan Edition.  It’s distilled from untainted water collected from a tank over 10,000 feet in the foothills of the Himalayas in Nepal’s Langtang National Park, originating from snowmelt and naturally filtered through layers of stone during its journey down the hill. The water is then combined with the purest winter wheat from the Tambov Region of Russia. Limited to just 300 bottles, it comes in hand-blown Bohemian Czech bottles, each sealed with an attractive golden ice pick and supplied in a numbered, hand-carved walnut case. And at just $3,000 a bottle it’s a steal. 

Still too steep? Try Crystal Head vodka, the brain child of none other than Dan Ackroyd, who wanted to drink a vodka made without any additives like sugar, glycerol, or citrus oils.  A product of Newfoundland, Canada, Crystal Head is made with a variety of corn called Peaches & Cream grown in Ontario and after distillation is diluted with Newfoundland glacier water before being filtered seven times. Of course, three of those times is through (of course) diamonds. Because why? Because diamonds, that’s why. Actually, in Ackroyd’s case, the Herkimer diamonds are supposed to impart magical healing qualities. The vodka gets its name from the impressive skull bottle made in Milan by Bruni Glass. A 750 ml bottle is a little more expensive than most of the decent brands but at about 45 bucks, it’s a hell of a lot better than 4 and 5 digits.

Back down here amongst the commoners, you can get outstanding vodkas without breaking the bank. One can never go wrong with the products of Absolut, Smirnoff, and the aforementioned Stoli. One of the finest vodkas I’ve ever tried is from, of all places, Ireland, distilled five times and filtered through ten feet of Irish oak charcoal. I highly recommend Boru vodka; I normally eschew sipping vodka neat and prefer mixers, but this was smoother than smooth, without that characteristic burn of straight alcohol. 

If flavored vodka is to your liking, there are a myriad of flavors to choose from, almost an embarrassment of riches in the number of varieties.  You name the fruit and somebody has added it to vodka. Birthday cake? Yup. Whipped Cream? Cinnamon? Vanilla? Chocolate? Yes, indeed. Chili Pepper? Why not. 

Between Stoli and Absolut they cover damn near every flavor

Seriously, cucumber vodka is quite the rage these days.

Locally here in South Carolina, Firefly has made a name for itself with Sweet Tea vodka featuring tea from the Charleston Tea Plantation, and has started making a vodka from native muscadine grapes at their distillery on Wadamalaw Island.

Need something more exotic? There’s a rye-based vodka very popular in Poland and Belarus flavored with bison grass, with a piece of the grass in the bottle. Of course there’s bacon vodka. Why? I dunno; it’s bacon. Does there ever really have to be a reason for bacon?

Of course, with so many vodkas being virtually equal, some distillers go out of their way with unsusual packaging to make theirs stand out even from the ones previously discussed.

The flat rectangle approach

 

Why not use a cylinder?

The bottle itself is artwork

The clever vodka log

The cap unscrews to become a shotglass in this Scottish vodka

Ed Hardy will fucking put a tattoo drawing on anything.

The artillery shell in an ammo box, with shotglasses

But Wingman, whatever shall we do with all this great and grand supply of vodka out there?

Oh, young tadpoles, the number of cocktails made with vodka rivals the number of dollars in the federal defecit. Here are but a few to get you started.

The Classic Vodka Martini

2 ounces vodka

3/4 ounce dry vermouth

2 dashes bitters (optional)

Lemon twist or 3 olives for garnish

Pour the ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice.  Shake well.

Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lemon twist or olives.

Now, there are umpteen million variations on the martini. Most of these start with a sweet flavor and end with –tini, like the appletini, pomtini, or chocolatini. Not all of these are “chick drinks”, mind you, and many serve as a nice dessert cocktail. Mostly though, they work as a great refresher on a hot summer night.

The Ultimate Pear Martini

1 ounce vodka

1 ounce pear vodka

1 ounce pear nectar

1/2 ounce fresh lime juice

 1/4 ounce agave nectar

Pour all ingredients into a mixing glass. Add ice and shake for 10 seconds. Strain into a chilled martini glass and garnish with a Chilean baby Pear.

 

This is my buddy Peter, who will be adding some articles here in the future, rocking a pear martini in NYC.

Another classic vodka cocktail is the Screwdriver, along with its cousins the Greyhound/Salty Dog, and Cape Codder. Vodka and orange juice, grapefruit juice, and cranberry juice. Your Wingman is quite partial to vodka and cran. 

Main Squeeze Cocktail (based on the classic Screwdriver)

2 ounces Orange Vodka

1/2 ounce Triple sec

2 ounces Fresh orange juice

Club soda

Add all the ingredients except the club soda to a tall glass and fill with ice.  Fill with club soda and stir. Garnish with an orange wheel

Since your Wingman operates out of the state of South Carolina, I feel the need to add a couple recipes from my local distillery. 

Blueberry Firefly 

1 ounce Firefly Sweet Tea vodka

2 ounces blueberry simple syrup (recipe below)

Freshly-brewed sweet tea, and not that powdered shit, either. Keep it real.

2-4 fresh mint leaves

Ice

Make blueberry simple syrup by bringing one cup of water and one cup of sugar to a boil over medium high heat. Add a 1/2 cup of blueberries (fresh or frozen) until they are soft. Use a spoon to mash them a bit. Strain out the blueberries and discard. Or save them for a smoothie.

Once the simple syrup is cool, mix the syrup and vodka over ice in a highball glass.  Fill the rest of the glass with sweet tea and garnish with mint leaves.

Firefly Cider

2 1/2 ounces Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka

2 ½ ounces Fireball Cinnamon Whisky

1 ounce Apple liqueur (I highly recommend Berentzen Apfelkorn)

Splash of soda

Mix over ice in a highball glass and stir. Garnish with an apple slice if desired.

Harvest Highball

1 ½ ounces lemon vodka

½ ounce lime juice

½ ounce simple syrup

2 ounces ginger beer

Add all the ingredients except the ginger beer to a shaker and fill with ice. Shake well and strain into a highball glass filled with fresh ice. Top with the ginger beer and garnish with a lime wedge.

Cucumber Mojito

2 ounces cucumber vodka

1 ounce fresh lime juice

2 tsp sugar

6 mint leaves

Muddle mint leaves, sugar, and lime juice in a Collins glass. Fill with ice and add vodka. Top off with soda water. Stir lightly and garnish with a cucumber wedge.

The Cosmopolitan

1/2 ounce lemon vodka

1 ounce triple sec

½ ounce fresh lime juice

1 dash cranberry juice

Add all the ingredients to a shaker and fill with ice. Shake, and strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

Garnish with a lime wedge.

And since everything in the universe seems to revolve around bacon…

The Shrimp and Bacon Bloody Mary

1½ oz. Bacon Vodka in a pint glass filled with ice.

Fill glass with tomato juice

1 dash each of celery salt and ground black pepper

2-4 dashes each of Worcestershire sauce and Tabasco

Shake and pour into an Old Bay-rimmed (optional) glass. Garnish with a celery stalk, a slice of thick-cut crispy bacon, and a chilled shrimp.

 So there you go, my legions. Now you're all vodka experts. Go forth and experience the Little Water, and do it responsibly. Who's got your back? I do.

Know Your Poisons: Tequila

The Drunken Taco in Ft. Lauderdale features over 250 tequilas.

Sixty five kilometers northwest of Guadalajara in the Mexican state of Jalisco is the town that lends its name to the liquor that was born there. To some, the very mention of the word tequila brings to mind revels and parties. To others, it’s a blank, black hole where memories used to be. For me, it just makes me shudder. When your Wingman was a younger pup like some of you, he imbibed of too much cheap tequila in the Army during reveries and debaucheries, and now the mere smell of the stuff causes me very soul to twitch. That said, don’t let my past experiences dissuade you from enjoying tequila if that’s your poison of choice.

Tequila is often confused and misunderstood. Many people think tequila is made from a cactus. This is a myth. Rather than being distilled from grain, tequila is the distilled product of the Weber Blue Agave, a plant related to the lily and amaryllis. While it grows in a cactus-like environment, it is not a cactus. The blue agave has a life-span of 7-15 years, stands over 6 feet tall, and has a diameter of 6 to 12 feet.

Long before the arrival of Conquistadors with their lust for gold, Christian God, and syphilis, the natives were making a fermented beverage called "pulque". This vitamin-rich drink was made from fermented sap extracted from the heart of the Maguey plant (one of numerous varieties of agave). In addition to making pulque, the natives made clothing, rope, mats and paper from the long fibers of the maguey leaves. The sharp tips of the leaves were used as tacks or needles for sewing clothing. The maguey, one of Mexico's most sacred plants, had a prominent place in religious ceremonies and rituals. Kinda sounds like hemp and cannabis. The transformation of pulque to something stronger occurred in the 1500s when the Spaniards introduced the distillation process to the region. Killing natives to take their gold is thirsty work,as is subjegating entire cultures and forcing them to discard their culture to adopt your religion. So, when the Spanish ran out of their own brandy, they began to distill this agave drink to produce North America's first indigenous distilled spirit. Pulque was distilled to make mezcal wine, also known as agave wine. This product continued to evolve into what we now call tequila.

Another source of confusion is the difference between Mezcal and Tequila. Mezcal is generally any distilled beverage made from the maguey (agave) family of plants. As such, tequila is technically a type of mezcal, but mezcal is not a type of tequila. They are considered two distinct products. Mezcal is made from over two dozen agave species including Tobala and Espadin. Mezcal can be produced from the Weber Blue Agave, although this variety is primarily used for making tequila. The traditional production process is also different. For mezcal, the agave hearts are baked in rock-lined underground pits, covered with fiber mats and earth. This technique gives mezcal a smokier flavor. Mezcal generally has about the same 38-40% alcohol content as tequila but has a stronger bite than tequila, and as a result is less popular.

The agave plant matures for up to twelve years under very careful cultivation before being harvested for production. More on that later. The harvester, called a Jimador, removes the agave leaves with a sharp curved tool called a Coa. He trims the over 200 leaves that protect the heart of the agave, called the piña (as in pineapple), until the whole heart is extracted from the ground. Only the heart, or “piña,” of the agave plant is used to make tequila.

Mature piñas weigh in between eighty and three hundred pounds; however, the size of the agave heart is not nearly as important as its sugar content. The older the agave, the longer the piña will have to accumulate the starches that will convert into fermentable sugars. Approximately 15 pounds of agave piñas are required to produce a bottle of tequila.

After harvesting, the piñas then enter the cooking phase, where steam injection within traditional brick ovens (or stainless steel autoclaves in modern mega-distilleries) is used to activate a chemical process within the piña that converts complex carbohydrates into simple fermentable sugars. Cooking also softens the piña, making the process of sugar extraction easier. Once cooked, the agave heads are transported to a milling area for sugar extraction. The cooked piñas are crushed in order to release the juice, or “aguamiel,” that will be fermented and distilled. The traditional method is to crush the piñas with a “tahona,” a giant grinding wheel operated by mules, oxen or tractors within a circular pit. Modern distilleries now use a mechanical crusher to separate the fiber from the juices. Once the piñas are crushed they are rinsed with water and strained to remove the juices that will be fermented.

During fermentation the sugars are transformed into alcohol within large wooden vats or stainless steel tanks, depending on the distillery; yeast may be added to accelerate and control the fermentation. Traditionally, the yeast that grows naturally on the agave leaves is used but today many distilleries use a cultivated form of wild yeast. The fermentation phase of production typically takes seven to twelve days, depending on the method used.

After the fermentation has occurred the actual distillation begins. Again, depending on the size and scale of the distillery, ferments are separated by heat and steam pressure within stainless steel pot stills or column distillation towers. While some tequilas are distilled three times, the majority are only distilled twice. The first distillation, also known as “deztrozamiento” or “smashing,” takes a couple hours and yields a liquid with an alcohol level of about 20% known as “ordinario.” The second distillation, known as “rectification,” takes three to four hours and yields a liquid with an alcohol level near 55%. After the second distillation the tequila is considered silver, or “blanco,” tequila. Now comes the aging…

Almost all containers used in tequila aging are French or American white oak barrels that have previously been used to age bourbon whiskey. “Reposados” (which means “rested”) are aged between two and twelve months, “Añejos” (which means “old”) are aged between one and three years, and “Extra Añejos” are aged for over three years. The longer the tequila ages, the more color and tannins the final product will have. The condition of the barrels (such as their age, previous use and if their interiors have been charred) will also affect the tequila’s taste. After the appropriate amount of time, the finished tequila is then bottled.

It is very important to note, however, that tequila isn’t really lengthily aged, per se, the way whiskies are aged to develop the flavors and take the harsh biting edge off. And with whiskies, the older the age in the cask before bottling the greater the prestige; not so with tequila. In fact, one could say tequila ages on the vine in the plant, and not the barrel. While some tequila is indeed aged in barrels to become reposados and añejos, the time to maturation is short; allowing tequila to age longer than four years could deteriorate the quality of the spirit. Barrel-aging tequila for more than four years would diminish the product; it loses some of its agave qualities and takes on more of the bourbon qualities from the cask in which it’s aged. So, technically, it doesn’t go bad, but you end up with something closer to whiskey than tequila.

So, in essence, once you open a bottle of tequila, you best be in the mood to drink it. As a general rule, experts say you have one to two months before oxidization and evaporation diminish the quality of the tequila and destroys the agave profile.

The blue agave plant takes 8 to 12 years to mature, at which time the piña is harvested. The harvested piña typically weighs a good 110 to 180 pounds on average and will produce one case (12 bottles) of tequila. As I said earlier, it can take a good 15 pounds of agave to make a single bottle. Timing is crucial when harvesting the blue agave, which is why it’s said that the aging is done in the plant. After waiting a decade or so for the plant to mature, you know you’re getting close when the leaves are between five and eight feet tall, the plant’s diameter is 6 to 12 feet and the quiote (stem) shoots up from the center of the plant. As soon as the quiote shoots up, it’s removed (and harvesting isn’t far behind) because it will reduce the amount of sugar in the piña, which would make it unusable for the tequila-making process.

Ever hear the term Appelation of Origin? An appellation is a geographical name (as of a region, village, or vineyard) under which a winegrower is authorized to identify and market wine; also :  the area designated by such a name appellation. This is how Burgundy wine is called Burgundy, from that region of France. And while sparkling wine is made in many different places, only those made in the Champagne region of France may call themselves Champagne. And only single-malt whisky (without the e) can be called Scotch. More on that when we get to whiskies.

Like champagne, tequila is assigned an Appelation of Origin status, which limits production to five Mexican states: Guanajuato, Jalisco, Michoacán, Nayarit, and Tamaulipas. The state of Jalisco is the center of Tequila production.  It is the only state that as a whole has the status of Appellation of Origin.  It is considered the place where tequila was first made and where the standards are defined.  The other states are only permitted to grow Blue Agave in small and defined regions. All 100% agave tequilas must be bottled in the designated Mexican regions and must bear on their labels “Hecho en Mexico / Made in Mexico.” Non-100% agave tequila, or “mixtos,” can be sold and bottled anywhere throughout the world. US regulations, on the other hand, allow it to be called tequila even if contains as much as 49 percent other liquids, commonly sugar-based alcohols. That means if you drink it, you’re mixing alcohols. Many experts say that’s what gives tequila its bad reputation and congeners that lead to nasty hangovers. So, if you’re gonna drink tequila, stick to 100% agave tequila.

Like I alluded to at the beginning, tequila has a bad reputation and it’s because we’ve all been there, lured by its ritualistic methods of consumption and its promise to take us to a higher level of (un)consciousness, but in the end we’re left with a vague recollection of the night’s proceedings, wondering who’s in the bed beside us and what disease we may have just inherited, paste-mouthed and crusty-eyed, sometimes with a crudely-inked tattoo. In my case, it was just the vague recollections, paste mouth, and crusty eyes thankfully, and nauseating acid reflux.

Another well-known tequila myth is that it has a worm in the bottle. There is no worm in tequila bottled in Mexico. There is sometimes a worm in bottles of mezcal, but not tequila. When a worm is included in a bottle of mezcal, it is known as "con gusano" (with worm). The "worm" is usually the larva of one of two kinds of insects, either a red worm ("gusano rojo") or a maguey worm ("chinicuil"), the caterpillar of the Hypopta agavis moth.

Mezcal, now with Protein!

The worm is a marketing ploy, as it has lost its nutrients inside the bottle. If you do find a worm in a bottle of mezcal, you can drink it without worry as the alcohol has thoroughly sanitized it. Although consuming the worm won't result in any special aphrodisiac powers or hallucinogenic effects, some find it somewhat spiritual and imaginative. I call shenanigans. Most people just do it because, like a dumbass, they think it looks cool. Or, if your penis is exceptionally small and you want to impress your frat buddies and strap-hanger bar bimbos, there’s always mezcal with a dead scorpion in it. Because eating a dead, alcohol-saturated arachnoid always brings the wimminz...

One of the most cliché images of tequila is that of the shooter. We’ve been brought up to believe that tequila is only worth drinking as a shot, with salt and lemon. Quality agave tequila can, and actually should, be sipped straight like a good bourbon or Scotch, in addition to being in cocktails, and by cocktails I mean something other than a margarita. Granted, the margarita is one of the most popular cocktails in the known universe, but dude, expand your horizons a bit. While the Wingman himself does not imbibe of the Pride of Jalisco, feel free to explore your agave options.

Tequilas from Jalisco are generally divided into lowlands tequilas and highlands tequilas. The village of Tequila itself sits in the lowlands, in the valleys formed by ancient volcanos. Though no longer active, the volcanic soil produces tequilas that are more herbaceous, spicy, and earthy. The highlands region (also called Los Altos) has iron-rich red clay soil that it gets more rain and has cooler nights; agave grown there yield tequilas that are richer in minerality and have more floral notes. Sipping a quality tequila can expand your palate a bit, don'tcha know...

The other cliché, popularized in rap songs and HBO shows, is that tequila is only good if it’s expensive. That’s utter bullshit. There are plenty of quality tequilas, 100% agave tequilas mind you, under $25 for the bottle.  Look for Cuervo (the biggest name in tequila worldwide), or explore El Jimador (hugely popular in Mexico) or Espolon.

You can trust a skeleton riding a chicken.

The Classic Margarita

kosher salt (optional)

.75 oz  freshly squeezed lime juice

1 oz  Cointreau, triple sec, or other orange liqueur

1.5 oz Blanco tequila

If using salt, spread it on a plate. Use a damp towel to moisten the rim of a chilled cocktail or rocks glass, then dip the glass in the salt.

Add the ingredients to a cocktail shaker and fill with ice. Shake well and strain into the glass filled with fresh ice. Garnish with a lime wheel. (For a slightly sweeter drink, add a dash of agave syrup—one part water, two parts agave nectar—before shaking.)

The Paloma

2 oz  tequila

.5 oz fresh lime juice

Pinch of salt (or to taste)

Grapefruit soda

Combine the tequila, lime juice, and salt in a tall glass. Add ice and top off with grapefruit soda. Stir gently and garnish a lime wheel.

The Yerba Buena

8 Mint leaves

.5 oz fresh lime juice

.5 oz agave nectar

2 oz tequila

Ginger beer

In a highball glass, muddle the mint, lime juice and agave nectar. Add the tequila and fill with ice. Top with ginger beer and stir. Garnish with a mint sprig and a lime wheel.

Go forth and imbibe responsibly. Who's got your back? I do.